It

          Have you ever given it thought? I mean really thought about it? You’re probably asking, what “it?,” but does it really matter? Everyone has several big “its,” however, most of them do not get the thought that they deserve. Other things may be going on distracting from thinking about “it.” Or perhaps you feel too young to think about “it,” after all there are so many “its” facing the young at once. Perhaps you think that “it” doesn’t matter, or you didn’t know that you could think about “it”. You may not even think that “it” is up to you.  Maybe you think “it” just “is.”

          Well, sorry, but you are wrong. You need to think about “it,” whatever “it” is. Why, because it will have a permanent effect upon your life.  So you never thought that “it” was such a big deal – well, it is. But you still don’t know what “it” is. That is different for each person, but here are a few common ones: Education.  Career.  Major purchases.  Life partner.  Children.  Retirement.  Death.  That’s just to name a miniscule few.

          Let’s take a look at some of these. We’ll start with education. You are never too young to start thinking about this one. This does not mean college, even though for many that is a big part of it. Nor does it mean what your parents may or may not have planned out for you. This is about making the most out of whatever situation that you find yourself in for you.

I am not talking about the drivel about university graduates averaging a better salary. I am talking about maximizing the experience for you. This is best started by figuring out your individual learning style and using it to your advantage. Are you an auditory learner who learns best through hearing, or a verbal learner who learns best by reading?  Maybe you’re a kinetic learner who needs to be in motion to learn, or a hands-on learner who needs to do to learn? Whatever your learning style is, know it.  Use it.

Next:  What areas interest you? Mix studies of those subjects with ones that may not interest you as much in order to maximize learning. You may also try to actually link them together in activity to really learn them. Make sure to get the most benefit out of all of your learning.

If you have really thought about and acted accordingly on your education, then career choice should be easy. Granted, if you grew up and live in Idaho, it may be a bit more difficult to become a pro surfer; however, there are always things that you can do to give yourself a better chance of success. It is always best to have a back-up plan, and a back-up plan for your back-up plan.

One of the biggest, if not the biggest “it” is whether to have children.  Strangely enough, that one is probably the least thought out of them all. Some people do not realize that one can choose not to have kids. Many try to have as many kids as possible, as soon as possible, so that someone “has” to love them.  Well, your children don’t have to love you, just depend upon you for awhile. Having children is the biggest decision you can make. There’s no turning back, no oopsies, no mulligans, and no do-overs. Yes, you can do like a lot of social parasites out there and shirk your duties as a parent and become part of the disease. If you are going to bring a child into this world, you better be 100% sure that both parents not only want to at that time, but are prepared financially, emotionally, and physically. If both are not equally 100% ready, do not - under any circumstances - have a child.

Any decision that will affect you or someone else for more than 24 hours is an “it” and deserves your full thought and consideration.

Church

I grew up going to church most every Sunday, the Southern Baptist Church. Most every sermon given was a variation on a theme; even the dusted-off-once-a-year-for-religious-holidays sermons kept to this variation. That overriding sermon spoke of God’s infinite love, compassion, and forgiveness, with the caveat that if we did not actively accept and believe on faith his offer, then we would burn in Hell, good and bad alike. It was preached that we had to remain ever vigilant because Satan was in constant battle to capture our souls. “Now give to the offering generously and prove the devil hasn’t got your soul!”

Broken down this way, it can seem a bit ridiculous, yet that was preached to us at every opportunity.  However, I believe that many of the lessons from these sermons can be applied to life, just not the way the preacher may have thought. I know that it may sound strange, but actual life lessons are there if we look deep enough - life lessons that are too rarely explored.

I believe that the first and perhaps the most important of these is faith. Faith is important in many facets of our lives, but it is often the most misunderstood. I would estimate that in my own personal experience that 80% to 90% of all churches, pastors, and congregation members incorrectly define faith. I believe that because of this misinterpretation of what faith is, that many of those that “lose faith” only misunderstand the true definition. The general misconception of faith is an unquestioned, unshakable belief. There could not be a more wrong definition. Faith is belief despite question, despite doubt. It is through questioning that our faith is strengthened. Doubt allows for questions. Those that believe without question and/or doubt do not have faith, but instead have resignation and have absented themselves from thought or free will. Many people say that they believe without question but I would hazard, upon observed behavior, that most only say so because they have been indoctrinated that to question or to admit doubt, even to themselves, is to “lose faith” and endanger their very soul. Many turn their backs upon religion because they can’t eliminate those questions or doubts from coming up in their minds and therefore believe that they can’t achieve faith.

So what is the lesson here? There are many: faith without question or doubt is a myth, lack of perceived perfection of faith is not a failure because perfection of faith is an illusion, and failure to think does not constitute faith, only failure. The best way to summarize this lesson is to say, question everything and accept nothing at face value.

Many of man’s greatest achievements came to be because someone dared question. Almost as many were jailed and/or executed because they questioned when the majority, or at least those in power, felt that it was “blasphemous” to question, even things not related to religion. Although some, usually those that use it as a manipulation tool to stay in power, would argue that everything relates to religion. Sometimes faith in the world outside of religion is not specific, but is more of a general thought or idea. Take, for example, the belief that for every question there is an answer. There are more specific beliefs, i.e. the belief that a cure for cancer, AIDS/HIV, diabetes, et cetera exists and has yet to be discovered. There are ideal beliefs: mercy, justice, humanity, etc. It might be easier for some to understand the need to question or doubt faith in these beliefs instead of religious beliefs because we are not conditioned to feel that our soul is in jeopardy for questioning these beliefs. However, it is the same. Questioning leads to better understanding, this leads to better questions, and all work to strengthen belief.

This black-and-white, believe-without-question mentality is one of the many reasons that people are turning away from church, but not from religion. It is like being the owner of an elephant whose fate is in the hands of a judge who is blind and does not know what an elephant is, and who depends solely upon the testimony of other blind men who also do not know what an elephant is, while being unable to have a say. While each blind man can testify as to their experience and beliefs are from the part of the elephant that they encountered, the perspective is so skewed as to be completely wrong. This is a bad marriage, this illusion of not needing to question because one has all the answers along with the prevalent attitude that one is not to think for oneself but to believe wholesale what is told by authority.  It is damaging us all.

I have faith that we are not all just machines to be used by others, despite daily evidence to the contrary. I question that if we are not machines, then why do we blindly accept and follow rules designed by others that are not to our benefit? That’s not to say that I advocate breaking or ignoring rules, but I do advocate questioning of senseless ones.

Another lesson I believe can be garnered from those numerous sermons is how to discern what is being said besides the actual words. In the midst of almost every sermon is a plea for money, or tithe. I know that many churches are funded, often exclusively, by the congregation. However, having worked in the business world, especially on the credit side, I’ve dealt with pastors that more often than not were con men. Away from their church and congregation, they expressed more interest in the “coin” than in others’ spiritual health. That’s not to say that I believe all pastors to be con men, just that for a con man, preaching is an easy job. I become leery of a church and pastor if they linger overlong on the subject of tithe. In this, I am not alone. The constant hand-out and passing of the plate has turned many away. It is not the collection of money, but the thick guilt trip laid out by the pastor and other congregants that turns people off.

          Another message that is prevalent is that those hearing the sermon, or at least the one giving it, are somehow superior to all the other poor doomed souls. For many, this more than anything else is what they are looking for, a place to not only fit in, but to feel exclusive and superior. Others hear that message and instead of reveling in it, are offended by it. It is the judging side of human nature. It is not part of any of the many religions, but because it is such an integral part of human nature it makes its way in, even into sermons against judging, (why even, in fact, in this very writing!).

          I could continue breaking down the sermon down ad nauseum, but instead I will discuss how this relates to the world. The first and most obvious are the media in the form of ads, politicians, and the news. They are all trying to sell something. With ads it’s obvious, they tell you up front what they are selling, but then they begin the shell game with half-truths, exaggerations, and outright lies to convince you. Politicians are a little trickier. People have a general justified distrust of politicians, so much so that often the word liar could be interchanged without notice. It is up to the politician to tell you the lie that you want to hear so that they can stay in power. It is in the politicians’ best interest to keep people as ignorant as possible, and if the truth does come out to spread as much misinformation as possible. Even if the truth would serve them better, it is to be avoided as it could be used to track further truth. It is a little more complicated looking at the news, supposedly an unbiased source of information. The news is often the politician’s co-conspirator. While that may seem a bit harsh, the news media is a favorite tool of the political parties. Because all news is by people, there will be by its very nature a bias. No matter how hard they try, a bias will come through. The secret is to either be subtle and hope that it is not caught, or to blatantly market to those with shared bias or lowered intellect. The former can be informative and useful as long as it is not taken alone. The latter, though, is almost totally useless as a source of information. At best, the blatant bias can be viewed as “news entertainment,” much as professional wrestling is viewed as “sports entertainment.” At worst, it is a propaganda machine that can destroy the fabric of our society. It all depends upon the intelligence and ability to discern truth from spin by the audience that will decide.

          Another lesson that can be taken from the sermon is the following attributes: duty, responsibility, compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, and helping others. More and more, these lessons are the forgotten lessons as time is spent more on hellfire and brimstone, pay up or go to hell. Some are going so far as to remove all mentions of love, compassion, forgiveness, and tolerance from their religious texts. This complete lack of intelligence or rationality is a much different conversation.

          Attending church regularly, especially if you get involved, teaches duty and responsibility. Doing what is necessary, even if it is not always desirable, is duty. Being dependable and able to be counted on by others is responsibility.

          Compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, and helping others are cornerstone beliefs of most religions. Of these, tolerance is probably the most misunderstood. Different religions handle it in different ways, but it is a fairly common thread that differences in people should not only be tolerated, but embraced. Yet religious differences are often guided to not be tolerated, even so far as to be condemned. This misunderstanding comes from the differentiation between people and belief. The limitation of forgiveness is manmade, as is the mistake of believing that any that do not think as you do are not to be tolerated. No matter what religion you belong to, your god or deity is not bound by human limitations. It is one thing to condemn a belief; it is another to condemn a person for that belief. Your soul is not in jeopardy for having compassion and tolerance for the person and offering help and forgiveness while condemning their belief. However, it might be in jeopardy if you condemn the person, which is, in a sense, throwing the baby out with the bath water.

          This does not give permission hound them with constant ministry, trying to persuade them. This tactic may work with about 1%, while actively turning away 99%, of which 10% to 25% will then hate you and your religion. Much better is to live your life according to the precepts of your religion and let you actions minister for you. That is a 100 times better ministry, and more effective as it rings truer that any words.

          But the final lesson is from the world to the church. Because as we all should know the church is made up of people, and is therefore by its very nature corrupt. However, church is not religion, just a convenient gathering place. The world is huge and there are billions of people, many living in areas that have no regular access to modern religion. Which of these scenarios makes more sense? That much of the world would suffer damnation because of an accident of birth placed them outside of the knowing of the gospel, or the fact that every culture has a religion, because we are born seeking the divine and find it the best way that we can, given our circumstances?  It stands to reason, therefore, that there are many roads to heaven.

          Which lessons do you choose to take for your life? What lessons would you like to teach the world?